Co-Parent Counseling
A court order regarding custody and placement is only that: a court order. It doesn’t help former partners figure out exactly how they are going to make this work. And reaching agreement on parenting can be challenging in the most harmonious of marriages.
Co-parent counseling helps parents work together to develop a practical plan for cooperative child-rearing.
At Divorce Conflict Solutions, we understand the impact that parents’ display of hard feelings can have on their children. We also understand the pain parents feel, as they attempt to cope with their anger and all of the myriad decisions they need to make, not only for their children, but also for their own dramatically changed lives.
The more difficulty parents have in managing their disagreements and anger toward one another, the more difficulties their children will likely have – with their siblings and peers, with their parents, with their teachers, with their self-image and, ultimately, in their future adult relationships. Sadly, it is often when kids most need steady nurturance that their parents – stressed, angry, bitter, and in need of nurturance themselves – are least able to offer it to them.
Our approach to co-parent counseling is to regard the children and their best interests as our principal client. So, the focus in our sessions is on the difficulties between the separated parents only as they affect their relationship, roles, or conduct as parents.
Our goal is to help parents unburden their children by learning to manage their own emotions and anxieties. We help parents strengthen their ability to function in ways that nurture their children’s well-being, regardless of the feelings their former partner triggers in themselves.
Through co-parent counseling, parents can learn to free themselves from dysfunctional, emotionally-charge communication and behavior patterns by helping them adopt clearly-defined, respectful, and dispassionate approaches to problem-solving and decision-making.
Co-parent counseling can help address:
- Unresolved anger and grief
- The challenges of a changed lifestyle
- Conflict in child-rearing philosophies
- Differences in child-rearing practices
- Issues arising from new responsibilities
- Concerns about role-sharing
- Discipline and rules
- Communication with the children
- The role of friends and family
- Boundary and triangulation issues
- Planning for communications with the co-parent
When one parent is unable or unwilling to participate in co-parent counseling, individual counseling can help a parent free him/herself of the debilitating power of negativity and find empowerment in positive attitudes and expressions.
The success of co-parent counseling rests on the parents’ willingness to step back from their own feelings about each other and focus on their new relationship as co-parents, always with their children’s best interest as their guiding value. With this perspective, and with the new skills they learn in counseling, parents can make a successful transition from embattled ex-spouse to empowered co-parent.